I love Netflix. I love the freedom to watch what I want, when I want, to pause or rewind (do we still “rewind” anything?), to let let the rest of life to take priority over my entertainment. When I sit down to watch something, I love the selection. Rachel and I have really enjoyed watching Blue Bloods. I like shows with strong male figures, and enjoy studying their strengths and weaknesses, the ways they engage their work and family. I often compare the roles I see the Blue Bloods with the writings of John Eldredge and the stages of manhood he describes in The Way of the Wild at Heart.

But recently I found the Wonder Years on Netflix. I completely missed it when it was on TV when I was a preteen. The show’s use of language, and realistic exploration of sexual themes meant it was something I wasn’t allowed to watch. I didn’t even realize that the show (based in the late ’60s and early ’70s) was on TV in the late ’80s until I noticed Mark Paul Gosselaar in an episode and found that he was in Saved by the Bell (which I did watch) just one year later.

The Wonder Years turns out to be another show where I study men and boys and their roles and interactions. Just a few episodes in and I already see too much of myself in the grumpy, self-absorbed Jack. He’s the dad who comes home from work, barks at the kids for being kids, has little time for questions, and wants to be left alone. In one episode, the narrator, the adult voice of the 12 year-old main character Kevin, reminisces about the times, few and far between, when his dad dropped the grumpy, self-absorbed personality, and played, having fun and delighting in his family and kids. Kevin wished those times would never end. But they did. Kevin hoped that they would return often. But they didn’t.

Way too often, I’m pretty much Jack- at least I feel like it, whether I completely act it out like he does or not. I don’t want my children to be afraid to approach me. I don’t want to miss out on their wonder years. I don’t want them to grow up to wonder if things could have been different. As I was dealing with these thoughts and feeling my shortcomings, I sat down to read my Bible this morning and came to Paul’s instructions for Christian households in Colossians 3.

Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3:21 NLT

Lord, help me to parent in a way that is not aggravating, help me choose to delight in my children and encourage them in Your ways. Continue to speak to me through Your Word and Spirit.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.