Category: Funny

I Thought Your Face Fell Off!

July 5, 2014 chadkuhn No Comments Funny, Life

I’ve shared this story several times and decided that it was time to share in writing. 

Since I started shaving my head in 2004 (at 24 years old), I have had lots of different reactions to my bald head. One lady told me that one day, when I couldn’t grow hair, I would regret shaving my head now. Several kids have been scared of the bald guy. Some people want to rub my head, while others are amazed that I have to shave it every day with a Headblade to look this smooth. The best reaction was from a lady out in Missouri, several years ago.

This photo was staged as a reenactment.

The lady walked into the school’s front office right after I had hung up and began looking up the next number. I was making phone calls to the students who would be attending my summer school class the next day. This was in a school that didn’t have phones in the classrooms, so I was at the front desk, behind the high countertop that many schools have. Since I had just come back in from lunch on a sunny summer day, I had my sunglasses on, but had pushed them up on top of my head. Make sure you picture this. Sunglasses on my head, phone to my ear, looking straight down at a piece of paper, half-hidden by the high countertop.

Suddenly, I heard her gasp. I looked up at her in surprise.

She covered her mouth with her hand. Then whispered, as if she had just seen a ghost, “I thought your FACE FELL OFF!”

30-Minute Epic Fail

September 19, 2013 chadkuhn No Comments Funny, Life

About three weeks ago I had a horrible half-hour. It all started when I didn’t have enough deck boards to finish the top-rail on my deck. I loaded up my three sons and headed to Westerville to pick up a few boards at The Home Depot. I exchanged a few items I didn’t need, grabbed the boards I did need and headed to the parking lot to load up.

One twelve foot deck board would fit in the van perfectly, from the dash up front, across the back bench seat to the back hatch. The second twelve-footer was just a bit too long because of the angle of the windshield. Looking back, I realize I could have placed the boards side by side and been on my way with no problems. Instead, I acted quickly. If the boards were too long, I’d have to change the angle of the boards to get them to fit.  I immediately grabbed the latch to fold the seat down, but I forgot to pull the boards back first. As the back of the boards dropped down, the front of the boards levered up, pushing into my windshield and producing a loud, “Crack!” I looked to the front of the van and saw spider crack going at least twelve inches in all  directions.

#Fail.

My windshield while still in the parking lot

#DoubleFail.

A phone call on the way home confirmed that the window was not reparable. I felt sick to my stomach as I drove the 30 minutes home. As I pulled into the driveway, my first thought was to get the stupid boards out of the van as soon as possible and then to pull out my insurance policy to check my liability. I threw the van in park, grabbed my phone and jumped out of the van. As I bailed out of the van, I hit my phone on the steering wheel and it was knocked from my hand. My two-week old Galaxy SIII flipped through the air in slow-motion before it landed face down in the gravel drive-way. Two cracked pieces of glass in one half-hour.

I felt like a complete idiot, who had just wasted a bunch of money that we really didn’t have. It took me a while, but I remembered that I am not my mistakes. I’m not worth any less because a couple things went really, really wrong. I’m still a dad and a husband and a teacher. I’m still me, and I like that most of the time.

Fortunately, the bill for the windshield was less than I expected and I was able to replace the glass on my phone for less than $15. Like usual, things weren’t as bad as they first seemed.

What about you? Have you ever had a string of misfortune? How did you react? How long did it affect you?